just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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