bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
