Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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