She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
