just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
