i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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