My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize