i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
