Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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