I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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