Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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