his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
