and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to have your abortion
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
