Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
