he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I believe in your delicious
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
