he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
