She's JV to your varsity
now i know why i became what i already was.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize