the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
