R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
