I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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