i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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