is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
