Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
