He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
