You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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