woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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