If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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