It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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