thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
