I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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