This is not my ceiling
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
