dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
