Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
