I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
