dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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