Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize