Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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