Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
