Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
