We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize