So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
