Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
