She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it glows. i had to have it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
