I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
