I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
