based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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