White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize