Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
