do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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