no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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