What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
