Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
