something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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