youre lurking in front of me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
