Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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