I bet he comes in French.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
