Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
