just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize