addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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